: Re: Repetitive pattern for action beats At times, my action beats feel awkward and repetitive. I seem to reuse similar action patterns. For example, "A studied/looked at/observed B" or "A smiled/grinned
Well, in this particular scene, we are immediately told that Dylan twists around (I assume in a chair) to pat Musa, so I don't see a need to incorporate any looked at/studied etc. because we already know he's looking at him. As for 'patient,' I do think that's "telling," but it can still be incorporated in a different way.
Dylan Lockwood twisted around in the cramped space capsule and slapped Musa on the back. “Musa, you got to relax. You’re ‘bout as calm as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Look, we practiced this a hundred times. It’s just another simulation, son," he said patiently, his half-smile weathered.
It's not always necessary to use actions like the ones you're over-using; if you find yourself falling into that pattern, you should try rephrasing, as in my example.
And yes, I think you aren't clear enough on whose smile it is, thus the rewording.
I hope this helps, and good luck on your writing! (Sorry if this doesn't help, though)
More posts by @BetL639
: Writer's Block: How to Stop World-building and Start Writing? This is a question that doesn't directly apply to me, though I can easily see myself having this problem. I thought I'd run writer's
: How useful are stock characters in fiction? I am writing a realistic-fiction novel set in the USA during the Great Depression. I intend to use some stock characters to make the story colorful
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © selfpublishingguru.com2024 All Rights reserved.