: Re: Please help me polish this paragraph. I'm learning English as a foreign language. In one of my writings, one paragraph goes: But it's not saying we just indulge ourselves and turn into

@Radia543

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I think the actual content and overall style is fine, but you're having some trouble with consistent grammar.

For example: "We train our brain hard so that we are able to control the burst of our emotions." - we don't share a common brain. So it should be 'brains'. Or: "impulsive acts often causes troubles" should be 'cause', since acts is plural. And you switch to second person late in the paragraph, talking about the person "you" hate the most, when the rest of the selection has been in first person ('we').

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