: I think initially I was going to agree that you can keep it short for effect. "I came. I saw. I conquered." a fairly popular line that follows a similar premise. It has a

@YK4692630

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I think initially I was going to agree that you can keep it short for effect.

"I came. I saw. I conquered."

a fairly popular line that follows a similar premise. It has a nice flow to it. I would suggest for your example to chop it down some to be more simplified but still gets the point across.

"I ate. I smiled. I left."

This still gets the feeling that they were not really all that engaged with the event they showed up to. They managed to eat something show their face and smile then leave. I feel like what you have is getting too listy and a lot of that is implied with "I smiled".

Alternatively, if you want to flush it out more you can and still get the same feeling across. Ultimately, you want the reader to be able to feel and experience what a depressed state is like. Not everyone feels depression the same way or as deep. By turning it into a longer passage, you can help the reader understand their emotions better instead of having it be assumed with short quick sentences. The following would be something I would do as an example of flushing it out:

I made it to dinner against my wishes. Unfortunately, skipping family dinners are not negotiable. Everyone around me was like a blur; Their sounds faded into the background only hearing bits of words here and there. Every once in a while I would smile as someone walked past me sitting on the couch. Before I knew it we were eating, my head was buried in my plate as the inaudible conversations around me continued. Laughter ringing in my ears, it was more bothersome than joyous. Finally, dinner was over and something caught the adult's attention to the television. It was enough of a distraction to slip out while no one was looking. I had enough noise for the night.

While this may not be perfect, it still allows you to expand and allow the reader to dive deeper into the brain of your MC. It allows your story to help show the emotions and understanding that the MC is troubled.

Either way, I don't see anything wrong with the short choppy sentences. Just make sure it's not listy. Then it can become bothersome to read. It all depends on the mood and tone you are trying to set around that particular passage.

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