: For what it is worth, this seems quite effective to me. It is always difficult to write in first person, and when the narrator is challenged in some way, it also challenges the writer.

@Samaraweera193

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For what it is worth, this seems quite effective to me. It is always difficult to write in first person, and when the narrator is challenged in some way, it also challenges the writer. But accepting a challenge and overcoming it can be the recipe for particularly distinctive or affecting work --if you succeed. I always encourage writers to listen for their own voice, because writing that is merely good can be forgettable.

I think you've correctly identified the key dangers here: annoying the reader, being unable to develop the character, and having a unnatural sounding speaking pattern. Now that you've identified them, however, the way forward might not be abandoning your own style, but rather figuring out how to make it work for you. Books from Room to Flowers For Algernon have figured out ways around those exact same problems, and been rewarded for it.

With that in mind, as others have mentioned, this sounds more like your narrator talking to someone --a therapist perhaps? --than an internal monologue. You might consider adding a frame story of some sort that could explain that fact. That could also give you a natural way to alternate first-person and third-person sections if that seems useful.

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