: Re: Does this sign-up email announcement sound friendly and conversational? This is version 2 of this post The intended audience is from 16-45 m/f, they have given me their email address and will
1st paragraph:
Use parenthesis instead of the comma:
We'll email you when the beta begins
(you can see our countdown here).
Third paragraph:
If you say you're not sure what those special features are, it suggest lack of vision, and that you have no idea what you plan on doing in the future (which comes across as being negative).
I would suggest perhaps writing it something like this:
Because you signed up early, you are
now a VIP Member, which means special
features and other advantages.
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