: Re: How to make a statement formulated like an exclamation, but even-toned? In writing, particularly writing dialogue or speech-like prose, it is custom to use the punctuation to indicate the tone
You are never required to use an exclamation point. Exclamation points are always optional. (You are never required to use an exclamation point! Exclamation points are always optional!) You are correct, however, that there are some sentences that exclamation points will make less ambiguous. If you don't feel right using an exclamation point in those situations, you may want to rethink use of that phrase, since you are using it as an exclamation, even if you don't punctuate it that way.
Personally I think a certain amount of conveying tone through punctuation is acceptable even in formal writing. However, it should be extremely sparing. In general, you never want your punctuation to call attention to itself, it should be almost invisible in the service of meaning.
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