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Topic : Re: Should I use the real name or attempt to describe? I'm writing a story in a fantasy setting, where there are characters who dress with ancient Egyptian type clothing - such as haram pant and - selfpublishingguru.com

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Another edit to clarify: It's not the use of real world words that is the problem but how specific you get when describing.
Usekh collars = Ancient Egypt.
harem pant = Egypt/ Middle East. (I believe most people think those locations first in mind.)

If you're describing something so specific that readers have to do their own research to figure out what it means, it creates a couple problems.

It stops the flow of events for the readers not familiar. They have to put the book down or open another tab to research. They might get pulled into the research and forget to return to the book.
Those who do know what those words mean will have an expectation based on what they know. They may expect the in book culture or the author to be familiar with Ancient Egypt and use that as a template for understanding your story.

Either way as soon as a reader makes the connection Usekh collars = Ancient Egypt. haram pant = Egypt/ Middle East. They are going to make comparisons based on what they know vs. the book.

If the book is just using the clothing but not the culture or the location, the reader may get whiplash wondering, "Wait I thought this was set in Ancient Egypt or a desert, and I expected this response to happen based on what I know about Egyption culture, not to have it used this way and the location to not be on a snowy tundra on planet A.

That's why I go back to the questions of why you are picking these items for your story, their meaning and the culture you are working on. That way you can help make it less problematic if the reader knows right away this culture is very different in spite of using/ wearing items common or specific to both cultures.

Unless your narrator or one of the characters in your story world is familiar with ancient Egypt and their culture, I believe it would be better to come up with a description. You may be able to pull off a comparison if the narrator has experience/ knowledge of ancient Egypt.

Also, I agree with others, the very specific use of names stand out. I had to do a quick google search to make sure I had the right visual in mind for what you were describing. Even if you go with the Ancient Egyption name for your characters' clothing, you'd still need to describe it.

Also it may help to understand what the significance of the clothing is, why its being shown in the story. Is it for ceremonial purposes, formal wear, or something else? Is it important to the plot?


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