: How do I write an action scene? I have recently written an action scene, and I am not satisfied with it. It sounded choppy and inconsistent, and I'd love to know how to write it so it makes

Vote Up Vote Down

One of the most memorable fight scenes I've read is duel between d'Artagnan on the one site, Athos, Porthos and Aramis on the other, Chapter 5 of "The Three Musketeers". A whole chapter albeit a short one, is just this one scene. So how does it work?

We start from how the MC plans to go about the battle (set-up). The MC meets his adversaries. A dialogue ensues. In between, there's also a brief description of the location and the weather. Finally, the swords are crossed. Then, the scene takes a turn: new adversaries appear, forcing d'Artagnan and the Musketeers to unite against them (after some more dialogue). There's word-fencing with the new adversaries, there's mention of how this new battle is personal for Athos (raising the stakes), there's a battle-cry. When the real battle commences at last, there's no pass-by-pass description. Instead, there's the MC's mood, a one-sentence description of his fencing style, and how it compares to his adversary's. (Can't bring you the quote - I only have the book in French. Sorry about that.) A change in the adversary's attitude, the MC's tactical response - still all general, then a zoom-in (a.k.a more detail) on the adversary making a mistake, d'Artagnan takes advantage of it and runs him through. The whole combat sequence is one paragraph, out of it only one attack-parry is described - the one that's important. That's the only actual action sequence in all the chapter.
The battle, however, is not over yet. We get a still moment of how the other combatants are doing from d'Artagnan's POV. He recognises that one of his companions, Athos, needs help and acts on this recognition. The micro-scene between Athos, his opponent and d'Artagnan is all about Athos being wounded but this fight being personal for him, and d'Artagnan recognising both. The actual fighting plays second fiddle to this interaction. Then there's the resolution of Aramis and Porthos's fights, and the scene ends with a triumphant march.

So what lessons do I draw from this scene? (I draw. There are things I miss, and things on which others might disagree.)

Set-up: Where is the combat taking place? What advantages and disadvantages does it offer? Is it a planned combat? If so, what's the plan? (If you tell the reader the plan, things shouldn't go according to plan. Which then makes everything more interesting.) Is it personal for at least one side? What are the stakes? Is one side stronger than the other?
Dialogue: a "Princess Bride"-like combat isn't very realistic. But it's awesome because of the dialogue. You can forego realism for awesomeness, or you can have dialogue before after, and during breaks in the actual fighting. Either way, dialogue is something that can be done well in a book, so writing good dialogue is playing to your strength. Also, where relevant, don't forget battle cries, orders, sounds of pain and cries for help.
Pacing: if it takes a long time to read a scene, it feels like the action took a long time. Therefore, if you want the action to feel fast-paced, you want it to happen in a short amount of text. "He kept spinning around his opponent, changing tactics often, attacking furiously while also parrying every blow", for example. You don't have to be specific. Remember that real-life fights are very fast. Whether with swords, daggers, or unarmed, it all takes less than a minute.
Let readers use their imagination. You don't need to be specific about which blow went where, how and why. You can use a few general sentences about a character's fighting style, and let the reader fill in the blanks. If you get too technical, the scene starts reading like an Ikea manual.
Zoom in on important moments. You want the killing blow to be dramatic? Make it the one element you describe. If you give every pass the same detailing, the important one will lose impact.
Mood. How does your character feel about the coming battle? How does he feel once battle has started? What about after the battle?
POV. You don't need to be with all the characters on the battlefield all the time. If you have more than one thing going on, you can show one that is happening, and then show that others have happened in the meantime.
Turn the tables. Things look like they're going a certain way? Why not make everything suddenly change? Surprises help keep up the tension.
What's important? The details of the fighting might be less interesting than something else happening at the same time. You can switch your focus to that something else.

Also, remember not every fight needs a detailed action sequence. "The Three Musketeers", a novel about sword-wielding soldiers whose favourite pastime is duelling, has quite a few combats go "they crossed swords, and after a few passes he killed him". In movies it's different - action sequences look great. In writing, a fight is not the written media's strongest suit.

I usually think of it this way: it takes longer to read about drawing a sword than to draw a sword, longer to write about a punch than to perform it. Therefore, fighting in writing is by default happening in slow motion. Since that's the case, the only fighting that should be described is the fighting which warrants the slow motion. The battles that warrant it, and then the specific instances in the battle that really warrant it. If that's not the case, press the fast-forward instead, or focus briefly on something else (feeling, thought, dialogue).

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

Staging. Set the scene prior to the fight so that you don't need to during it.
Framing. Know the sequence of moves and describe only the important moments in detail. Get specific when it matters and not super often.
90% emotion. 10% stabbing. You want your reader to engage and sympathize with your protagonist. Most of your work will be about how the fight is affecting the main character, his relationships, his goals, his obsticles. So build up the emotion so that when the sword hits something, the cost is real and understood. From this you get victory or defeat and all of the emotions
There must always be a cost that someone realistically pays. It's not a fight without loss. Fights are destruction and so things of value and consequence must be lost, even if victory is obtained. Value can be bodily wellness, emotional stability, objects, social standing, possession, etc.

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

Change the pace throughout the fight
Most fight scenes that use hand-to-hand combat, swords, daggers and the like change their pace a few times. For example you could start slow with the opponents watching each other getting ready. Maybe they are in an arena and staring at each other, waiting for the starting gong before they can lash out for each other. Or they are standing on different sides of a field, waiting for the other one to make the first move. You can describe what weapons they have, how the scenery looks like, how the heart of your protagonist is racing, ...
Then the start begins and everything is fast. Just describe how your protagonist has to be defensive, being pushed to the edge of the arena with every blow, waiting for their chance to strike back.
And then there's the chance - a small opening in the opponents defense. For a heartbeat or maybe two times seems to stand still. It's now or never.
Suddenly your character switches to the attack, fighting back and managing to get past the opponents defense with each strike, causing small cuts and bruises with each hit.
Both are starting to get weary. Maybe they take a stance a few feet apart and waiting for the finishing blow. Carefully they examine their enemy, watch their every move, assess their own wounds and their chances to win.
Then the final clash happens, maybe the oppoent seems to get the upper hand, but in the final moment the protagonist manages to slip past his defense and delivers the final blow.

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

I believe the key word in your question is 'recently.'

You can certainly add to the action scene with internal thought, (I don't have my sword!) incomplete actions ('he reached for his sword but his bicep flinched and his reach was too short, then his opponent landed another blow'), described experience ('he could feel his heart racing, adrenaline coursing. He grabbed his sword but the sweat made the grip loose')...

Keep adding elements. Just keep adding. Move some around. Play with different lengths in your sentences. Look for linking words, see if they help make it less choppy or if they slow it down too much.

If he suffers a near fatal blow you can play with time.

Here's the thing. It's an action scene. You are a 'A curious writer.' There is a good chance you've not written many of these, and you wrote this one recently. So, play with it. Revise it. Give it a few days and tweak it. Keep doing that.

(0)