: Re: Is there too much imagery in the intro of this article? I'm writing an article which is part of an IGCSE English question paper. In the paper, you're basically given two passages (or sometimes

@Steve161

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Jason is right about style.

At the risk of sounding like Admiral Ackbar, it's a trap. The people setting the paper know you don't have any direct experience and it sounds to me more like an exercise in journalism than creative writing (the two should be different, whatever impressions the media might give to the contrary). The people setting the paper will be looking for how you have interpreted and revealed to your readers the views of your interview subjects (the two passages) and whether you've presented this in a way that would be suitable for a school or college magazine. You're the everyman, and the writers of the passages are your experts. If you come across as speaking with authority on the subject, your readers will smell a rat.

Many professional journalists haven't really got the hang of this. Having spent longer than I care to mention in scientific and engineering fields, there aren't many days that pass without reading something about a technical subject where a journalist has approached it as if they knew everything about what their interviewees were saying, and ends up coming across as a bit of an idiot.

While you might get bonus points for presenting possible solutions to the problems in the first passage and for identifying the problems the writer of the second passage has solved, it's wise to keep your distance - emotionally and creatively - from this piece. Put your readers first and your interviewees second, and approach it as if the writer isn't important at all. While a school or college magazine might be the perfect place to play with florid imagery, the nature of the question - about starting work - suggests the examiners are probably looking for something else.

The question isn't an opportunity to show that you can write beautiful evocative prose - it's about knowing when you shouldn't.

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