: Re: How can I stop overusing "I" in my writing? I won't edit this question, so you can see how much I use it. The current count is 3 times. I've been told that the solution is to revise, revise,

@Odierno164

Vote Up Vote Down

You can talk about you.
This is a sales letter trick, often used in manuals as well. Make all your "narrative" lines as "you," (the reader), or some equivalent.

I will also try to show that the unrelaxed difference density is still not equivalent to the transition density.

Hopefully you will see the unrelaxed difference density is still not ...

I can't find the definition of {a} in the paper,

You will not find a definition of {a} in the paper ...

Importantly, we always start from the set of ground-state MO coefficients

It is important you start from the set of ground-state MO coefficients ...

Because I don't want to mess with the block-diagonal structure of PΔMO, I will transform T to the MO basis:

You don't want to mess with the block-diagonal structure of PΔMO, so you can transform T to the MO basis:

I am not sure if the MO coefficients in the double sum can be simplified, but it doesn't matter; assume they are unity.

Whether or not the MO coefficients in the double sum can be simplified or not, you will find it does not matter. For example, [you can] assume they are unity.
And so on. Everything you attribute to "I" or "We", rewrite to attribute to the reader.
Several studies of this technique in Sales have shown it is strangely and wildly effective; far more people will read to the end of a sales letter if it addresses them specifically as "you" and "your". It is talking about you, your children, your home, your car, your retirement, your entertainment options. Do you want to put all that at risk? We want to hear from you, listen to you, help you achieve your goals. You might think people would see through such a transparent trick, but you'd be mistaken, it still works for advertisers, and it can work for you too.

(0)

Login to post a comment!