Assorted comments:

== There's a lot of explanation:

The pressure made him, with shame, due to the fear of causing more trouble, it certainly did not please Oscar, The bitterness made a tear, etc.

It's usually best to give your reader what they need to figure things out, and then trust them to figure it out.

== I agree that there are too many intensifiers.

== The back-and-forth of action isn't following the usual convention of a new paragraph for each new actor--Oscar is exploding in the same paragraph that Bob glances. I think this is relevant to immersion because it disrupts the back-and-forth of the interaction.

== There's a fair bit of redundancy. For example:

The retort hit Bob like a hard stone and he froze

We really don't need any more than "Bob froze.." We know that he's reacting to what was just said, so you don't need "the retort hit". And both freezing and "hit like a stone" describe a reaction; you don't need both.

Redundancy is likely to make the reader go, "Yeah, yeah, can we go on to the next thing?" and thus harm immersion.

== The paragraph starting with "The retort..." feels like it needs a rewrite to be more specific and less explanatory.

== The action is heavily interspersed with explanation, so we keep falling out of the scene.

I removed some of the extra stuff, without significantly rephrasing:

====

"Look what you did."

Bob risked a glance, and saw his mother's disappointment and his father's frown. He looked back to the ground, silent.

That didn't please his father. "I raised a coward! At least have the decency to face your problems like a man."

Bob froze, trying to make himself as little as possible. Why did he do it? He knew what would happen. He'd been warned. He felt tears coming. It was too late now--they were going to send him to the mines.

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