: Re: Sensitivity with disorders/mental illnesses The novel is overall very distressing and supposed to elicit emotion from the readers, it's practically dependent on it. A few of the characters in my
If you succeed in eliciting strong emotions in your readers, you've done good. If you make your readers cry, bite their nails to the quick, put the book down in fear only to pick it up five minutes later - that's a success. Don't be afraid of strong emotions. Neil Gaiman, in the introduction to his short story collection Trigger Warning, writes
There are things that upset us. That's not quite what we're talking about here, though. I'm thinking rather about those images or words or ideas that drop like trapdoors beneath us, throwing us out of our safe, sane world into a place much more dark and less welcoming. Our hearts skip a ratatat drumbeat in our chests, and we fight for breath. Blood retreats from our faces and fingers, leaving us pale and gasping and shocked.
[...]
There are still things that profoundly upset me when I encounter them, whether it's on the Web or the word or in the world. They never get easier, never stop my heart from trip-trapping, never let me escape, this time, unscathed. But they teach me things, and they open my eyes, and if they hurt, they hurt in ways that make me think and grow and change.
So, don't hesitate to provide your readers an opportunity to learn and grow.
So how do you do that, when your subject is mental illness? Don't tone it down, don't soften it so it's not too shocking. Explore it, touch the places where it hurts. At the same time, don't turn pain into a spectacle. Your goal is not providing the reader some visceral thrills.
Know your subject, study as much as you can. A person suffering from depression and contemplating suicide isn't necessarily constantly sad and apathetic. A person might be aware of the problem, and actively trying to find something to live for. Or some worthy goal to die for; I disagree with @Amadeus about letting your depressed character die "for something". I feel it gives the impression that this character's life is somehow cheaper, because "he wanted to die anyway". That's not a good message.
"I wish I were dead" is, like you say, too "in your face", too obvious. In fact, it is something that a person who actually contemplates suicide is less likely to say: at one stage, it gives a concrete, frightening shape to half-formed thoughts; at a later stage, there's the fear of being discovered before the plans can be realised. A more likely statement would be along the lines of "why bother", "what's the point" - statements that reflect despair of any possibility for future change.
Or, alternatively, there might be an increased attempt to fill the void - spending time with family and friends, doing fun stuff, planning fun stuff for the future, avoidance of being alone - actively trying to escape despair's claws.
Depression is diverse. If you want to do a realistic depiction, study it. Talk to people, talk to a psychologist, find actual stories on the internet. Here are some useful notes, to start you off on your study (tv tropes warning) Don't hesitate to be hard on the character - follow the setup you make to its logical conclusion, whatever it is. Otherwise, you're not being honest, you're shying away from the subject.
One common trope you want to avoid is having one profound conversation or rousing speech completely turns your character's outlook around, cures his depression, etc. That doesn't happen, and the perpetuation of this trope creates unrealistic expectations in real life.
Also, do no forget there are situations when the average sane person would consider death as preferable to the alternatives. In such cases, suicidal thoughts are not a sign of a disorder at all. An example would be a POW tortured for information, and afraid of the consequences of being broken. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and holocaust survivor says
Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
It follows that the less why you give your character, the more reasonable their despair becomes.
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