: Re: How can I keep my writing from being perceived as "too complicated" This is from a piece I wrote a couple of years back: The sky seemed like a big, large pool of grey smoke. The weather
Others have provided excellent suggestions on how to address certain imperfections in your writing excerpt. I thought I'd take a broader perspective on the questions you've asked.
Is there anything wrong with my style of writing which has repeatedly
been labeled “too complicated�
With your style? No, not at all. It's more about how well you execute that style. As others have noted, a more complicated sentence structure needs greater care with grammar and punctuation, to enable your reader to navigate the twists and turns of the sentence: inadequate opportunities to pause (commas, colons, semicolons, dashes, parentheses) and your reader will fail to take the corner, while poor grammar is like potholes and corrugations. Note: long complicated sentence! ;-)
Is it really too difficult for the reader to understand what's going
on?
Not really, in the example you've given. But neither is it entirely easy. Be careful of ambiguous placement of phrases and clauses: for example, "blocking my view" seems to relate to "minibus" but of course you mean it's the curtains that block the view. Similarly "breaking into a little grin on the damp window pane, as well as my surroundings" suggests your grin is on both the window pane and the surroundings. In both cases the reader will work out what you mean, but (for me at least) the syntax caused a momentary distraction. Compare with "vague reflection of a stressed me (breaking into a little grin) on the damp window pane, with my surroundings providing a ghostly backdrop."
How can I prevent myself from writing overly complex sentences which
might not get understood that easily?
As others have suggested: reading it out loud, and being rigorous with correct grammar. Don't get too worried about doing this in your first draft: the main thing is to get the words out! But do multiple runs at editing, first for structure and flow, then for grammar, then trim the excess, then perhaps add some "quality" (the occasional simile or metaphor, the value-adding adjective or adverb), reading it aloud, then doing this cycle again.
Also, practice practice practice, and find others you can share your work with! The more often you write for a real audience, the better you'll become at refining both your sentences and your style.
Is it worth aiming for a poetic effect at the cost of not being
clearly understood?
Never! If you're not being clearly understood, you're failing at the first hurdle. The primary task of a write is to communicate. Poetic devices offer a powerful way of communicating additional meaning and depth, but there's no point putting a glittering saddle on an ornery donkey. Writers like Hemingway eschewed ornamental prose - read his Pulitzer-winning short novel The Old Man and the Sea for a superb example of verbal economy.
By all means be poetic if that's your preferred style, but treat it like make-up: a modest amount creates highlights, depth, interest and mystery, while too much (or inexpertly applied) can simply become tawdry.
Your example is certainly not tawdry, and the poetic effects are well suited. Refinement will come with practice.
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