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Most publishers are fine with simultaneous submissions and understand that it could otherwise take years for a manuscript to be accepted. What's important is to read the publisher's guidelines before submitting (they should say if they require exclusive submissions) and to be up front about it.
Because every genre has a different publishing culture, I looked up information about children's books. The Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators is the primary professional writer's organization for this genre. They say:
Once you have chosen the right markets for your project, you are
free to send it to publishers that are accepting unsolicited
manuscripts...Exclusive submission means that
you will not present your project to any other publisher while one
publisher has it. You can designate the length of time it will remain
exclusive. But most publishers who still accept unsolicited
manuscripts also allow multiple submissions, which means you are
sending it to multiple publishers. You should make your submission
status very clear in your cover letter...Keep copies/files of your correspondence and set up a
system to track your submissions.
The way I've seen it managed is to state in the cover letter either that this is a "simultaneous submission" (the term "multiple submission" is often used but technically means sending more than one manuscript to the same publisher) or to say that you will give them X number of weeks before submitting elsewhere. I plan to use that last one when I submit my book to my dream publisher.
It is also important to send a short note to the publisher if you get an offer from a different publisher. This allows them the opportunity to move your book up in the review queue so they can decide if they'd like to make you an offer as well. Agents do this all the time.
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