: Re: What's wrong with impersonal and lifeless descriptions in a novel? It feels like there is something wrong with using impersonal descriptions in fiction. But what is it? As an example, I'm

I'll add something I see my favorite authors use. Basically, you can draw a reader into a scene by doing a three-stage description. Or four.

The night was gloomy. (General.)
So gloomy, in fact, that no light at all could pierce the ground-level window to the dusky basement. (tighter focus. Now we're in a basement.)
Instead, the only source of light in the room was the ambient reflection from a projector, situated halfway between a screen on the front wall and the crumbling masonry on the back. (visuals of the setting.)
But no movie played on that screen. Instead, motes of dust, illuminated by the cone of light, drifted down, eerily silent, onto eight wide-eyed corpses sitting, stiff, and staring forward.

^^ It's a tightening focus thing. Try that. Might work for you, might not.

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: You dress the women however you like, and have them take whatever role they wish in their life. You pay them the same (or more) than their male counterparts for equal work, and most importantly,

: Re: What's wrong with impersonal and lifeless descriptions in a novel? It feels like there is something wrong with using impersonal descriptions in fiction. But what is it? As an example, I'm

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: What are the components of a legend (in the sense of a tale, not a figure legend)? I'm compiling in-world legends for my built world, and would like them to feel like established legends from

: I once had a story set in a future setting and my protagonist was an African American teen. In his introduction scene, he and his friend are discussing the school's upcoming production of

: So there are three things I take into consideration: Is the singer going to be a part of the story? If not than I try to look for songs that are 5-10 years older than the current

: You dress the women however you like, and have them take whatever role they wish in their life. You pay them the same (or more) than their male counterparts for equal work, and most importantly,

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