: Re: How can this technical message be made clearer? How could this technical sentenced be improved for better clarity? Cannot translate the ‘name1’ concept1 to the ‘name2’ concept2 because the
Relative clauses ("which overides it") make the reader work. They have to go back and forth in the sentence trying to match up the "which"s and the "it"s.
By the sounds of it, you are doing something very abtstract and technical so the reader is working hard enough already. Don't worry about dumbing it down! Without the relative clause it might go like this :
Cannot translate the ‘Fred’ apple to the ‘John’ orange because the
‘John’ orange is blocked by the existance of the higher precedence
‘Julia’ tangerine.
Instead of "the existance of", maybe try "the presence of", or just leave it out altogether:
Cannot translate the ‘Fred’ apple to the ‘John’ orange because the
‘John’ orange is blocked by the higher precedence ‘Julia’ tangerine.
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