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Topic : Re: How to trick the reader into thinking they're following a redshirt instead of the protagonist? I'm currently planning a "magical girl" story, and I thought of an interesting way to start it, - selfpublishingguru.com

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(Note: This answer is basically the opposite of Cyn's answer. I can see arguments for doing it either way; in the end you might have to play around a bit and see what works best for your story. Cyn's answer is certainly nice because you don't need to give any details about the heroine yet, so you can fully develop her later.)

The cliché

The cliché that you are trying to subvert is often played like this: The first character that is introduced in a novel is a humble working-class person who has a hundred problems on their mind. They have kids waiting at home, they worry about their parents who are old and need to be looked after, they think about their mean boss at work. The novel actually goes into quite some detail here. The point is a sort of ironic contrast between the things they worry about and the thing they actually should be worrying about - the monster that's waiting around the corner.

Maria Lopez was walking home. It was 11 p.m., and she was tired. She had had a double shift at the hospital again, thanks to Dr. Weiss, the insufferable chief physician who had no respect for the nurses and their working hours. Now her feet hurt and her head was aching. And the worst part was that she would have to get up again in seven hours. Sometimes Maria found herself thinking that her children would end up as criminals due to her never being around. As she passed a dark alleyway, she inadvertedly imagined Pablo and Emilio as teenagers, lurking in just such an alleyway, waiting to rob people just like herself who were just trying to get by. She shook her head to dismiss the image. "They are good kids, they would never do that", she scolded herself in her head. She felt ashamed, but also a little bit nervous. Did something just move in the shadows of the alleyway?

The subversion

The goal is to write about the character as if she was exactly the cliché described above. Take the more mundane parts of your character's life and have her really focus on those in that scene. In that scene, she is not thinking about her magical girl secret life at all, she is full-on thinking about trouble at work, in her love life, bodily aches, maybe she's feeling a bit vulnerable, and so on. While your portrayal of the character should not be a heel-turn in comparison to the later parts of the novel, it is okay if you over-emphasize the non-special parts of her character.

But of course, at some point there's the reveal, which is an important part of the subversion. This is the maximum tension point in the chapter. The character is aware of the monster, and she has to act now. But the reader is still thinking of her as a weak everyday person. The reveal can be humourous or it can be awe-inspiring, which really sets the tone for the rest of the novel, so be careful here. You don't want to give your readers the impression that they are reading a light-hearted novel, when you're going for full-on drama later on.

Maria turned around, slowly. Her eyes widened. Big, slimy tentacles were reaching for her. She instantly knew what was about to happen. All her previous worries vanished from her mind. She knew that nobody was here to save her. The streets were empty, and nobody could hear her scream.

The monster lurched forward. With closed eyes, Maria fell to her knees and folded her hands.

The emerald between the palms of her hands began to glow. As she opened her eyes again, they were glowing too. Her voice was dark and booming as she spoke: "By the power of the Crystal Angels, I smite thee!"

Maria, the Crystal Angel of Kindness, was going to have to do this herself.

I don't know if I really succeeded here, but I tried to drag out the reveal for some time without writing something that just does not make any sense in hindsight. (To justify her reaction here, a later passage might have to explain that she does not really like smiting monsters, especially not after long shifts at the hospital.) The reveal can be handled differently as well. Another choice would be to slowly introduce elements that contradict the previous characterization of her, so that it is not a classical "twist" but a slow-burning realization that this character has more to offer.

Can you really trick your readers this way?

At some point, you have to accept that not everybody is going to "fall" for this, simply because not everybody has the same tropes in mind when they start reading a novel. Some people expect the novel to start with the main character, and might simply not get what they were supposed to expect differently (your novel is proving them right after all). Others might recognize the cliché, but might then go into full sleuth mode in order to predict all possibilities how the scene could play out. "Oooh, she's gonna die. Or wait, maybe she's gonna be saved? Oh, what if she is the monster!" These people are likely to be disappointed no matter what you do because they think their own ideas are cooler than the ones you come up with.

But I would argue that for a majority of readers, the scene "just works" without them really thinking about it. They will read it, and when the twist comes they'll say "huh, cool, didn't see that coming!", and then they'll keep reading, slightly more engaged. Without ever analyzing the scene too closely.

In order to get the feeling of the scene just right, I recommend reading some novels where the cliché is played straight. One of them is "The Swarm" by Frank Schätzing. It starts with a fisher in South America who will not survive the first chapter, if I remember correctly. But especially for the subversion it might be necessary to emphasize the dangerous atmosphere of the scene. Have the main character be nervous, have her look over her shoulder, let a light suddenly go out, thunder in the distance, barking dogs... whatever sets the mood to "things will go horribly wrong soon".


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