: Re: Bad to start story with VR/non-real scene? I'm coming up with an outline for a cyberpunk story. I want to establish (at some point) that the main character has marksmanship proficiency by starting

@Odierno164

Vote Up Vote Down

I don't think it's a good idea; when a reader opens a book they expect to learn some things about the characters in their normal world. If you open with a VR, the reader will assume that IS the normal world, and real. Orcs and other fantasy beings are only known because in some fantasy (like Lord of the Rings) they were real, how are readers supposed to guess the VR is a game?

The jarring aspect of finding out it is a video game will most likely cause disappointment, not delight, and turn your story into something different than they thought they were reading, and perhaps put the story down.

At best, they might re-read knowing it is a game. I wouldn't do it, the opening of a book is to show the actual normal world of your Main Character, and quickly (like within four pages) have them interacting with some one else, even a walk-on we won't see again. The point is to know their normal world and have the reader sympathize with the MC, at least understand something about the MC, before you put the MC into a meat grinder and change their normal world.

I think you can fix this with a line.

Jake put his goggles back on and un-paused the game.

Better yet, leave the marksmanship for later, show us Jake in some way doing what he does every day in his normal world, interacting with real people, perhaps getting ready to play a game, or getting into a "pick up" game while visiting someone else.

Playing a game may indeed be a daily occurrence in his normal world, but tricking the reader into thinking the game is reality is not a good idea. And even your MC does not think it is real, nobody playing a game thinks it is real. So your narrator is intentionally lying to the reader by narrating as if it were real.

(0)

Login to post a comment!