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Topic : Re: Can I mix one character's dialogue with another's POV in the same paragraph? I'm struggling trying to write a scene (fiction novel). I want to know if it would be confusing to write it this - selfpublishingguru.com

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Saying “He heard Mike sigh” can distance the reader, so perhaps just “Mike sighed” would be more direct and clear. I would also suggest rewording this little piece as such.

”... We were just kids ourselves.”

Paul felt a hand on his shoulder. Mike continued.

“I can’t take back the things I’ve done.”

That way you can still include what Paul was feeling, yet also mention that Mike continued to speak. It’s worded as “A hand” so that we wouldn’t have to repeat Mikes name within the same line.


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