: Re: How do I make a dialogue tag for a man speaking to someone behind himself Currently I have a very uncomfortable sentence: '#####' announced Graham behind himself, turning his head away as

@Samaraweera193

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I have questions.

First, does the positioning of the players and the direction of the gaze have any meaning? Is the speaker saying something that is painful to the listener? Is the view outside of the window of higher priority? Does Graham trust the listener? Care about the listener? So many questions, so little time. I want to help you but I cannot point out a direction until I know where you want to go.

Second, what style of writing do you want to use? Does the thought need to be expressed as a single sentence? Is the intent to write fancy or plain? What are the emotions of the participants? What is the tempo of the story at this point, fast, slow, contemplative?

Third, let me offer the following.

Graham moved past the other(s) to the window. He knelt. After scanning the outside, he said, "######." The other(s) in the room listened, without comment.

The meaning, at least to me, is very clear. No subtle shadings. No subtext. And no confusion. But you might read this and say that it misses the point that you were trying to convey. And that realization may help you answer my first set of questions, and, thus, guide you to figuring out what you want to say in the way that you want to say it.

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