: How can I make this formal paragraph more exciting, engaging and friendly? Text: "Your order has been received. A digital proof of your personalized item will be sent to you via Etsy Conversation

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You are asking the members of the forum to do the work that you should be doing. This forum is dedicated to helping you learn to be a better writer. If you had provided some alternative language and asked a specific question about it (for example, which option gives a better result in exciting the reader), we might be able to answer it. But I did not see anything resembling such as question.

Here is what I would like to see in a question:

This is what I am trying to accomplish (theme, intent)
This is what I have tried (hopefully more than one thing)
This is the problem or deficiency as I see it (more than "it is
wrong")
This is the criteria that I will use to judge the answer (more
objective than subjective)

Please edit your question to provide the information that we need to answer it.

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