: Re: Using "now" from a character's POV The story is written in 3rd person POV, close. But I feel like the very last end feels jarring. He trailed his hand along the railing as he climbed the

I don't know if "Not now" changes the depth of the POV, but I would argue that both of those last two sentences are repeating the sentence before it. If it's so close to his chance, we know he can't afford an injury right now. There's a few other instances of repetition I might eliminate that make for more concise narration.

so he could catch himself if he fainted or if his legs gave out from
under him.

He's going to fall with either of those events. You can use either of those alone to convey the full consequence.

it wouldnâ€™t do at all if he fell and busted his face open

If he falls, is it expected he'll bust his face open? If he busts his face open, is it easily assumed that it's from a fall?
If we squeeze out some of those repetitions, we could get something like this that still maintains the deep POV.

He trailed his hand along the railing as he climbed the stairs so he
could catch himself if his legs gave out from under
him. He was too close to fighting for the title to ruin his chances by busting his face open.

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: My character is a child abductor; can he drive a brand-name car? I'm about to self-pub my first novel, a domestic thriller with a time-travel twist, and in the story, one of my main characters

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: Should foreign personal titles be capitalized in English text? Should foreign language personal titles be capitalized in English fiction text? E.g. "How are you, SeÃ±or Rojas?" Do we follow

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: How to give your characters enough dialogue? In my story, there are quite a lot of characters. It can be difficult for me to give them dialogue. For example, let's say that there are a five

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: Words use to describe racing heartbeat I think that it is too simple just to use "my heart pounded." I prefer something a little bit more elaborated. What sentence can I use besides

: Re: Using "now" from a character's POV The story is written in 3rd person POV, close. But I feel like the very last end feels jarring. He trailed his hand along the railing as he climbed the

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: My character is a child abductor; can he drive a brand-name car? I'm about to self-pub my first novel, a domestic thriller with a time-travel twist, and in the story, one of my main characters

: Should foreign personal titles be capitalized in English text? Should foreign language personal titles be capitalized in English fiction text? E.g. "How are you, SeÃ±or Rojas?" Do we follow

: How to give your characters enough dialogue? In my story, there are quite a lot of characters. It can be difficult for me to give them dialogue. For example, let's say that there are a five

: Words use to describe racing heartbeat I think that it is too simple just to use "my heart pounded." I prefer something a little bit more elaborated. What sentence can I use besides

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