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Topic : Re: Questions on two sentences on a cover letter I am writing a cover letter - an excrutiating process. There are two sentences I am quite unsure about. The first one: I hold a math Ph.D. - selfpublishingguru.com

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Your question 1 is too long, but where you should break it is not where you broke it. The information about the professor is a sidenote and is a parenthetical remark if ever I saw one.

Also, you can't "carry out" a degree, and "I hold a degree that was earned" is verbose; "I earned my degree" would be more concise.

So my suggestion is:

I earned my math Ph.D. from xxx in a research group headed by yyy. (yyy is a recipient of the Fields Medal, the “Nobel Prize of Mathematics.")

Note correct spelling of "recipient" which was misspelled in your original.

On to your second problem sentence.

I believe that the advertised post is an outstanding opportunity to contribute to, and further develop my career in, governmental policy planing and analysis.

My issue with this sentence is that it focuses on what you would get out of the position, not what you would give to the position. It also seems tentative due to the "I believe" at the beginning. So I would simply say:

The advertised post is an excellent fit for my background, skills, and career goals, and I am certain I can make a valuable contribution to the project.

Of course, it is difficult to give advice at the sentence level without the advantage of the context in which the sentences appear. My rewrites may well not fit in with the tone of the rest of your letter.


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