: Re: Does this writing create emotion in the reader? The thing I hear most often about my writing is, "It's too dry." I'm sure this happens to other people too. I'm working on eliciting

@Ravi5107385

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The other answers are great. When you wax analytical/philosophical, you are naturally distancing yourself (and your readers) from emotion. Emotion can't look forward or back in time, it is all about now. Even if you're focused on an event in the future or past, the feelings about it are happening now. That's one of the biggest differences between thought and feeling. Thought can roam anywhere, anywhen, but feeling is here now.

Writing for a feeling needs to be immediate - not reflective. The reflective/descriptive/analytical stuff is what builds the context for the reader so that they "understand" the situation and have a reason to care about the protagonists.

That's why so many horror stories start out honky dory, boring, and hopeful - so that when the action/emotions start, it's not only a stark contrast to what came before, but the reader has had a chance to get to know and identify with the characters (and with what they have to lose).

(disclaimer - I write almost no fiction (although I have read a lot), so my "suggestions" are not meant as actual text you could use, but more as the sort of thing that might work.)

Little things: meld is a soft, comforting word. It works against the predominant feeling - maybe - all smash together - or freeze into a mass of - those aren't very good, but they add momentum instead of dampening it.

Splitting the waking up into paragraphs also gives the reader breathing room to relax. Emotions flow and usually build or subside ("waves of emotion"). They are rarely static, so your text has to reflect that. It can't stop and look at them from several angles while they're "holding still".

I wake up covered in a cold sweat. Two or three times every night since she plummeted from my grasp, I'm wrenched from sleep screaming as I hopelessly try to save her.

Digression: Many years ago, I went to see The Deer Hunter at the movies. I knew it was going to be a rough picture from the trailers, etc. I remember the amazing Polish wedding at the start of it. All I could think of was, Holy !@#$%, if he's making this so incredibly detailed and real, how am I ever going to handle what's coming next? I was terrified before any of the terrifying stuff happened!

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