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I am in the process of answering the question please indicate any leadership roles you have held for a particular job application but still feel as if my replies lack a certain crispness and flow. So far I have shown a friend who has provided some minute changes but I'm not entirely convinced.
Any ideas on how I can improve the effectiveness of my three examples? I have 100 word limit for each. Thanks in advance.
Example 1
Having to maximise the usefulness of the few resources provided, I led
a small team to runner-up position in university’s annual
business competition. This required me to plan, manage and delegate
tasks effectively in order to increase the group’s overall
productivity. Upon establishing myself as an expert on the target
market, I was immediately able to gain the trust and support of my
peers which facilitated the decision making process. When pitching
our idea to a team of private investors, I had to respond to queries
related to the credibility of our service and managed to secure a 0
prize.
Example 2
After being promoted to admin controller at XYZ Taxi, I was
responsible for ensuring that the performance targets required of the
firm were met. This required me to monitor the daily number of
incoming calls received by each employee and report back to
management. In addition to this, I was in charge of reviewing and
resolving difficult conflicts such as fare disputes. Over time, I
recognised recurring issues and begun to analyse their causes in order
to reach a solution. For example, to solve the issue of inaccurate
quotes being given to clients, I designed clearer price charts to be
displayed all over the office.
Example 3
Organising a youth conference provided me with valuable experience in
planning a complex event. As technical director, I assisted with
booking the venue, ordering refreshments and helping our keynote
speaker with his travel arrangements. Such careful preparation ensured
the presence of a reliable welcoming team, memorable interior design
within the venue and on posters outside the venue. My role was
significant in ensuring the event was well-attended by spearheading a
marketing campaign on various social networks to cultivate interest.
This gave me a platform to demonstrate my resourcefulness; I adhered
to a strict budget by designing the flyers myself using online
tutorials.
(1)More posts by @Heady158
1 Comments
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I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be, since in the end a lot of
these things come down to subjective likes and dislikes, but here's a
few thoughts:
The pattern of "problem, action, result" is often recommended for
resume-type writing. The goal is to prove your skills and experience
with a concrete example of how you had a problem, what you did to try
and fix it, and what the outcome was (usually something positive I
suppose, but it could even be what you learnt and how you would go about
handling the same situation differently).
If you search for "problem, action, result", there are lots of resources
about it on the net. Your first example shows some of this, with the
"0 prize" being the result. In the second example, you describe the
action ("designed clearer charts"), but the result is only implied
(something positive I assume? x% reduction in inaccurate quotes, or
some increase in customer satisfaction, maybe).
Specifics. This is getting into the subjective realm, but when I'm
reading resumes, it really stands out when someone responds with specific
things that they've done, as opposed to generic descriptions.
In your first example, what was your business idea? Which university?
You say a small team -- could you say "a five-person team" (or however
many there were). How did you establish yourself as an "expert on the
target market"? You delegated tasks that improved efficiency -- maybe you
could use a specific example of why and who you delegated to, and why it
worked? In example 3, which youth conference? How many people attended?
I realise the word limits make it difficult to have too much detail,
so go for the one or two things that best demonstrate your abilities.
You may want to consider reducing some of the sentence lead-ins to
give you more words (for example: "Having to maximise the usefulness
of the few resources provided"...is it really necessary, or is the
lack of resources going to come out in the following detail?)
Be careful with being vague in describing the activities you performed,
as they might not be interpreted how you intend. For example,
"I assisted with booking the venue" -- if I was feeling particularly
uncharitable, I could interpret "assisted" as "you were in the room while
the person with real authority did the booking". Maybe you surveyed
and evaluated potential venues? It might be stronger to state this.
Hope this helps.
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