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Topic : What are my headlines lacking? I'm writing headlines for a print ad where instead of a 4X4 waiting for a train at a crossing, the train is waiting for it with a boom in front of the train - selfpublishingguru.com

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I'm writing headlines for a print ad where instead of a 4X4 waiting for a train at a crossing, the train is waiting for it with a boom in front of the train instead of the car. This is to show the toughness of the car and so I've written the following lines:

A Tough Act to Follow
Rule With an Iron Fist
Impossibly Tough
Red Lights - Not Included
Switch Up the Pecking Order
The Tough’s Gotten Going…
The Adventure Gets Right of Way
As Tough as You Think You Are
Convention-Defying Toughness
No Added Extras – Like Rules
Who Says You Can’t?
Never Say Never
You’re as Tough as You Feel
The Rules of the Wild Aren’t the Rules of the Road

It's not as though I'm having writers block as you can see and yet there's a value missing in these headlines that my headlines usually have and I'm not sure what's holding me back. If you have any technique you can suggest, please help. I'm not asking you to do my work, these headlines have been submitted for review but I would like to know what step I'm missing in my creative writing to add more 'ooomph' into my headlines. Thank you.

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A bit late I know, but the best I can think of is to componentize the ad. What elements are present that you can utilize to build an idea? There's the 4x4. A train. A level crossing. A boom. Train tracks.

The saying of stopping something in its tracks comes to mind. So how about: "The new Blah 4x4. Stop them in their tracks" or something alone those (railway) lines? This fits with the visuals but also projects an idea of respect or jealousy on the part of the onlooker. The boom becomes a cognitive metaphor for the train driver's desire for the 4x4 and suggests that other onlookers would do the same. And of course, because it's a big, hulking train that could actually crush a normal car, it must be the appearance of the car's toughness that did the actual stopping. And so on...

So, to answer the question, there's nothing wrong with your headlines; they just don't associate well into the visual elements of the situation. But I think the image presented is something of a brain teaser so I hope you came right in the end.

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They may probably be just right for the target audience - if the target audience is the kind of people who would definitely use the toughness of the car in road traffic, and believe being stronger makes one right.

As for me, they are alliterating a crude message. No hint of subtlety, no wit, no distance to self, no humor. And this lack of distance talks to me as lack of confidence; either that's a really simple mind who doesn't get anything more subtle, or one who really needs to have their ego extended, and treats this all too seriously.

What I mean? Something more tongue-in-cheek.

"Can't get a tank? We have the next best thing." "They don't fear the law? they will fear your bumpers." "Background explosions not included" "The crumple zone is the other car"

I suggest you watch The Expendables 2 for entering the right frame of mind.

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