: Re: Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer The question arises from this sentence in my story, which was originally written in Hebrew and later translated

@Yeniel532

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I woke up in the morning, and went to the post. It was a bright day at the beginning of spring. When I walked down the road that leads to the post, I enjoyed the lively green of the field, before the summer manifests itself.

I find the mix of tenses a little jarring; for example “walked down” being past vs “leads” present; or “enjoyed” being past vs “manifests” present. Perhaps use “would manifest”. Anyhow, fixing those problems with tense leads to

When I woke in the morning, a bright morning at the front of spring, I went to the post. As I walked the road on my way, I marvelled at the lively green of the field, a green it would hold til summer came down upon it.

The following form, which I remark upon below, has been suggested in a comment.

The early spring day awakened me with sunlight so urgent and pervasive I almost felt I was breathing it. Minutes later I was walking the road to the post, admiring a field of grass so freshly green it seemed lit from within. I enjoyed its vibrancy even more when I reflected how summer would all too soon impose itself, dialing the color down to a dull, dark, nearly lifeless shade.

In my opinion, urgent and pervasive seems overblown, an unnecessary exaggeration. Minutes later adds an unnecessary and undesirable sense of hurry, but the rest of that sentence is ok. Verb enjoyed is weak and nonspecific. The idiom or metaphor dialing...down has a technical overtone that clashes with the natural setting of the rest of the passage. Phrase “dull, dark, nearly lifeless shade” again seems an unnecessary exaggeration, although I grant we don't know what tone the paragraph should end with.

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