: Re: Is the following allowed under the ungrammatical exceptions in fiction? I wrote the following: Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue was taking place, red coal glowing in the dark
I prefer the first of the two examples; the second seems choppy. It would read slightly better with “Red coals†in place of “The red coalâ€. (That is, coal should be plural in both examples, and there should be no article before it.) I might or might not add with or its to the first:
Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue took place, with red coals glowing in the dark and tiny sparks fluttering about.
Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue takes place; red coals glow in the dark, sparks flutter from time to time.
I suggest avoiding the past continuous tense (like “was taking placeâ€) in narrative, and using either simple past (“took placeâ€) or present (“takes placeâ€). Past continuous seems stilted, verbose, misleading.
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