: Re: Is the following allowed under the ungrammatical exceptions in fiction? I wrote the following: Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue was taking place, red coal glowing in the dark

@Merenda569

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Everyone got stuck on the length of the sentences, which is completely irrelevant here, in my opinion. It's neither an overly long nor a confusing sentence. The question was about grammar.

I see nothing wrong with the grammar here, but if you're worried with the "and", have you though of splitting it this way:

Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue was taking place, red coal
glowing in the dark and tiny sparks fluttering around from time to
time.

into:

Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue was taking place, red coal
glowing in the dark. Tiny sparks fluttered around from time to
time.

You still keep the flow of the sentence, you don't make it look choppy as jwpat7 noticed, you got rid of the "and" that was bothering you, and you have a combination of a long and a short sentence, which adds to the overall dynamic of the text (which of course depends on the rest of the text, but it's something to pay attention to).

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