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Topic : Re: Does my poem convey the character of the (fictional) author well? The core character in my current work-in-progress is an immortal goddess (of the minor kind), who goes increasingly desperate. - selfpublishingguru.com

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You're getting there. Push it farther. I think your first and last stanzas/poems have the right idea. Be rougher. Be angrier. Don't worry about grammar. Show more images, and have them more raw: fire consuming, water draining, a tornado blowing things away, an sinkhole devouring buildings, lava flowing over a city.

These stanzas are a little too hand-holding, if anything. She's not desperate or frustrated enough.

EDIT: Remove four, five, and six. Too mushy. The new ones are definite improvements.


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