: Re: Worried that my opening is not gripping enough This is the beginning of a novel I'm writing (not the final draft): The hiking trail consisted of pairs of uneven stone steps. On both
I always fall back on a very useful piece of info I once received: many publishers, upon reading a first paragraph that is pure description, will simply discard the piece and move on.
I often use prologues to give the reader a taste of the action, hooking them in before I get into the story proper, but as your story is one of self-discovery I don't think approach would sit well.
The simplest solution I can see is to swap the first and second paragraphs:
I could see why An-Mei had chosen Alishan for her spiritual retreat.
Something about the place made you feel protected, at ease. As though
Mother Nature had laid you softly in her arms, and you no longer had
to feel suffering or grief. The effect was soothing, almost magical.
The hiking trail consisted of pairs of uneven stone steps. On both
sides, tall coniferous trees extended tall into the sky, like an
army of giants guarding the forest. From between their trunks an
ominous mist watched quietly. In the air was the scent of winter,
mixed with the smell of soil, dry leaves, moss. If you listened
careful enough, you could hear the chirping of birds and insects—a
tune so soft, so subtle, you sometimes thought you were humming to
yourself.
But was it enough to heal An-Mei's pain?
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