: Re: Am I breaking the "show don't tell" rule in the following passage? Then, as if sensing my presence, the girl turned around. She looked young. Probably sixteen or seventeen. She had long

@Lee1909368

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The two problems that I see with this passage are:

“Even though there was nothing unusual in them” — You don’t need to explicitly tell the reader that something is not unusual. (One of my least favorite tics in YA fiction is the main character describing herself as neither beautiful nor ugly.)
“It felt strange” — “Strange” is such a vague word that it really adds nothing to the description here. Maybe you could call this a “show don’t tell” rule violation, but I think that rule is overrated to begin with.

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