: Re: Is the following extended metaphor/group of metaphors too overwhelming? I bought a box of sushi, and sat at the round table beside me. Opening the plastic container made me feel as

@Lee1909368

The number of treasure-similies seems over-the-top to me, the prose equivalent of a scene from Tampopo. Maybe I would appreciate them better in the context of the rest of the story, or maybe I would appreciate them better if I liked sushi. :-)

Your second version is definitely wrong. More verbs needed.

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: How do I evaluate an unwritten plot/story? I'm working on a full, detailed outline of my planned book series before I have much of it written down. I'm not a pantser, I must have a clear

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: Synonym recommendations for "chuckle?" Apparently I want to use this word a fair amount ("she chuckled," etc.), or, more specifically, a word that means "a short and [soft or gentle] laugh."

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: As a rule of thumb: If a accident makes a characterâ€™s life worse, you can put it anywhere in the story, because it becomes just one more challenge for the character to overcome. If an

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: Twist in kishÅtenketsu vs. twist in Western plots How does the â€œtwist / ten / è»¢â€ phase in the Japanese kishÅtenketsu narrative structure differ from the â€œplot twistâ€ that is a standard

: Re: Is the following extended metaphor/group of metaphors too overwhelming? I bought a box of sushi, and sat at the round table beside me. Opening the plastic container made me feel as

More posts by @Lee1909368

: How do I evaluate an unwritten plot/story? I'm working on a full, detailed outline of my planned book series before I have much of it written down. I'm not a pantser, I must have a clear

: Synonym recommendations for "chuckle?" Apparently I want to use this word a fair amount ("she chuckled," etc.), or, more specifically, a word that means "a short and [soft or gentle] laugh."

: As a rule of thumb: If a accident makes a characterâ€™s life worse, you can put it anywhere in the story, because it becomes just one more challenge for the character to overcome. If an

: Twist in kishÅtenketsu vs. twist in Western plots How does the â€œtwist / ten / è»¢â€ phase in the Japanese kishÅtenketsu narrative structure differ from the â€œplot twistâ€ that is a standard

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: Re: Is the following extended metaphor/group of metaphors too overwhelming? I bought a box of sushi, and sat at the round table beside me. Opening the plastic container made me feel as

More posts by @Lee1909368

: How do I evaluate an unwritten plot/story? I'm working on a full, detailed outline of my planned book series before I have much of it written down. I'm not a pantser, I must have a clear

: Synonym recommendations for "chuckle?" Apparently I want to use this word a fair amount ("she chuckled," etc.), or, more specifically, a word that means "a short and [soft or gentle] laugh."

: As a rule of thumb: If a accident makes a characterâ€™s life worse, you can put it anywhere in the story, because it becomes just one more challenge for the character to overcome. If an

: Twist in kishÅtenketsu vs. twist in Western plots How does the â€œtwist / ten / è»¢â€ phase in the Japanese kishÅtenketsu narrative structure differ from the â€œplot twistâ€ that is a standard

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: Twist in kishÅtenketsu vs. twist in Western plots How does the â€œtwist / ten / è»¢â€ phase in the Japanese kishÅtenketsu narrative structure differ from the â€œplot twistâ€ that is a standard