: Re: Is the following extended metaphor/group of metaphors too overwhelming? I bought a box of sushi, and sat at the round table beside me. Opening the plastic container made me feel as
The number of treasure-similies seems over-the-top to me, the prose equivalent of a scene from Tampopo. Maybe I would appreciate them better in the context of the rest of the story, or maybe I would appreciate them better if I liked sushi. :-)
Your second version is definitely wrong. More verbs needed.
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