: Can this statement be simplified, and is it effective? I am in no academic circles, nor have any friends who are interested in writing, so it is difficult for me to get any feedback regarding

I am in no academic circles, nor have any friends who are interested in writing, so it is difficult for me to get any feedback regarding my writing. Any of what I've learned has been through reading other masters of writing, like Emerson or Thoreau.

Currently I am reading a book that talks about the importance of reducing clutter and unnecessary words, and from my perspective, I've stripped the following piece of writing to its bare minimum. But from an outside perspective, I'm sure there are many things I'm not seeing.

Mo is a haplessly supercilious man who apparently refers to
himself in third person. All self shaming aside, I like to write, some
what garrulously, and use words that I just learnt yesterday and
pretend Iâ€™ve known them my whole life. It is my goal to one day write
in a way that would make Emerson proud (or cry).

By craft and means I am a software developer, specifically iOS. Since
young, I have been an interloper, trying my hands at all sorts of
crafts to find one that I might marry. My passions have alighted from
bough to bough, but as I have grown older, my fleeting attention span
has abated and settled on to a trade that has made me an all too
comfortable man, and this is the state from which I am currently
trying to flee. The thrill of living is the pursuit of survival, but
once this has been secured, life withers and creativity parches.

I have mostly been, in all my life, a reclusive, social
intro-extrovert, with capriciously varying cycles. As of late, I have
been surreptitious about my life, for I have been of the thought that
the less people know about you, the less they can trouble you. But
this has been an unproductive outlook, and this here â€” this expounding
of my life and habits â€” is an attempt to reverse that, and share
perhaps what I would have otherwise been uncomfortable sharing.

Here are my questions:

Are some words not necessary, and can safely be omitted without destroying the message?
Overall objective and subjective opinion, respectively.

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: Writing, my first attempt I would like to undertake a project and write a novel, but I'm not sure how should I start. I have the idea, I just don't know the best way to write it down.

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: National Novel Writing Month began in 1999 as a daunting but straightforward challenge: to write 50,000 words of a novel in 30 days. Now, each year on November 1, hundreds of thousands of

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: In my case the answer is: you write it all the time. You write it down in the little breaks but you create in between. I tend to write while on the bus, or at work in between tasks.

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@Eichhorn147

Objective

Reducing clutter is almost always a good idea in writing. Why 'almost always'? Because sometimes you want to produce long, flowing, 'garrulous' prose. The paragraph you have produced is very weighty, I worry cutting support words out may cause it to collapse under itself. Clearer language does not always mean less language.
Number one aside, the word 'that' is generally superfluous. "And use words just learnt yesterday..." "Trying my hands at all sorts of crafts to find one I might marry..." "For I have thought the more people know about you..."

If you do need 'that', use it with a noun. "I believe that idea/statement/idiom..." instead of just "I believe that."

Subjective

I would recommend cutting some of the "I"s from your prose. It can make your writing sound stilted. For example, compare "and share perhaps what I would have otherwise been uncomfortable sharing" to "and perhaps to share what would otherwise have been uncomfortable to share." The repetition of the word 'share,' in the same form, links the beginning and ending of the phrase. Eliminating the word 'I' allows the reader to join the sentiment instead of listen to it.
Some what, in this sense, is one word. Self shaming is two words, but hyphenated as self-shaming. Interloper is just the wrong word to use here, try dilettante instead. Alighting means 'to land', and 'landing from branch to branch' sounds odd. There needs to be some taking off between landings.

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: Can this statement be simplified, and is it effective? I am in no academic circles, nor have any friends who are interested in writing, so it is difficult for me to get any feedback regarding

More posts by @Deb2945533

: Writing, my first attempt I would like to undertake a project and write a novel, but I'm not sure how should I start. I have the idea, I just don't know the best way to write it down.

: National Novel Writing Month began in 1999 as a daunting but straightforward challenge: to write 50,000 words of a novel in 30 days. Now, each year on November 1, hundreds of thousands of

: How to write a reminder LinkedIn email to a stranger? I emailed some people on LinkedIn asking them some questions about their expertise. Most of them responded back and asked me to send my

: In my case the answer is: you write it all the time. You write it down in the little breaks but you create in between. I tend to write while on the bus, or at work in between tasks.

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