: Re: Does this entice the reader to continue? This is the beginning of my science fiction book that I am currently writing. I tried to be more specific, but without giving away the full idea. I

@Connie138

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Introducing some kind of mystery is a common technique for hooking a reader's interest, but by itself it feels like teasing: the writer knows something but won't share it with the reader yet. So no, this does not entice me; it annoys me, makes me feel manipulated because your narrator is being deliberately coy. Try combining it with another technique: engage us with the character.

As it is, we know nothing about your narrator. He is a blank emptiness upon which the world imposes itself: we are told about things which happen to him and the people around him, but the one time he ventures an opinion, it is to say he does not have one. If you give us a better sense of your narrator's personality, provide us an opportunity to care about the narrator, then we have a reason to care about the mystery beyond idle curiosity.

If you can make us want to spend more time with the main character, you don't even need a mystery to hook us in.

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