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Topic : Is the following repetition unnecessary? I peered through the glass. It was a bird. At first I thought it was a crow because of its black feathers; they were so black they shone - selfpublishingguru.com

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I peered through the glass.

It was a bird. At first I thought it was a crow because of its black
feathers; they were so black they shone in the moonlight like a pair
of sword blades. However, after looking at it keenly, I realized it
wasn't. First, its beak wasn't that big. The beak of a crow was thick
and long, as if it were an extension of its face. The beak of this
bird, on the other hand, was almost as small as a needle. Also, unlike
the angry eyes of a crow, this bird's were round and expressionless.
They didn't convey any feeling—just pure, indifference void. The
most noticeable feature, though, was a yellow spot on each wing. They
looked like the rank badges that officials wear on their shoulders.

As you can see I repeat The X of the crow...and X of the bird twice.

Is the repetition above unnecessary? Should I use another phrasing instead?


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Yes, that repetition is unnecsssary. No, you do not necessarily need to change it.

Parallel construction is a valuable tool and can make your paragraph easier to read, especially if you're including a comparison as in this narrative.

You may want to adjust your other comparisons so that they all have similar structures, but doing so is purely a stylistic choice.

On an un-related note, you should standardize your tense. You switch between past and present too quickly. ("realize" should be "realized", for instance.)


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