: Omitting pronouns and possessive adjectives in fiction When is OK to omitting pronouns and possessive adjectives in fiction? Examples: She called me that weekend while I was cleaning my apartment.

@Candy753

When is OK to omitting pronouns and possessive adjectives in fiction? Examples:

She called me that weekend while I was cleaning my apartment.
She called me that weekend while cleaning my apartment.

Once on my bed, I took the box and opened it.
Once on bed, I took the box and opened it.

He explained to me that a friend of his.
He explained that a friend.

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: How to decide whether contract "had", "did", and "would"? Examples: If we were in control of our happiness, we would all be happy, since everyone would choose to be so." "I know,

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: "Thought" Verbs: A sign of weak writing or a stylistic choice? According to Chuck Palahniuk you should avoid "Thought" verbs as much as you can. These include: knew, thought, realized, believed,

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: Is it OK to add chapters to slow down the pace of the story? Example: I'm writing a story where the protagonist is searching for some information. She searches for it at her university, and

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: Alternating names Example: The cat was lying on a cat bed, barely visible under the blankets, an IV wrapped around one of her front legs. Judging by the triangular shape of her head,

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@Debbie451

I think in all three examples you're starting to impede comprehension, and change the meaning of the sentence.

Example 1 sounds like the caller is cleaning the apartment of the
narrator, because the subject hasn't changed from the beginning of
the sentence.
Example 3 leaves the friend in question: whose friend is he talking
about?
In Example 2 you have to have an article of some kind — if not
my then the, at the very least.

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: Omitting pronouns and possessive adjectives in fiction When is OK to omitting pronouns and possessive adjectives in fiction? Examples: She called me that weekend while I was cleaning my apartment.

More posts by @Candy753

: How to decide whether contract "had", "did", and "would"? Examples: If we were in control of our happiness, we would all be happy, since everyone would choose to be so." "I know,

: "Thought" Verbs: A sign of weak writing or a stylistic choice? According to Chuck Palahniuk you should avoid "Thought" verbs as much as you can. These include: knew, thought, realized, believed,

: Is it OK to add chapters to slow down the pace of the story? Example: I'm writing a story where the protagonist is searching for some information. She searches for it at her university, and

: Alternating names Example: The cat was lying on a cat bed, barely visible under the blankets, an IV wrapped around one of her front legs. Judging by the triangular shape of her head,

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