: Re: How to improve/fix this short introductory paragraph and dialog? These are the things that I want for this introductory paragraph: Grab the reader's attention Create a melancholic and dark atmosphere

IMHO, you have good material but too many details that don't help your story. The first two sentences in the first pargraph about darkness are an example. I would omit them and begin: "There were two people sitting there in the darkness... The reason is that the "type" of darkness that you described is not essential to the story.

In the dialog, they take too long to get to the point. I'd start with "Can I talk to you about something that terrifies me?" he said after awhile. The "rest" is "normal" conversation but not good storytelling.

Load Full (0)

: Using "and/or" in a manuscript I've used "and/or" in my writings in the past, but not for fiction manuscripts. Is it acceptable to use this? It's internal narration in a character's head and

@Welton431

Load Full 3 Comments

: Examples in APA format I truly hope I am posting in the right place; I had originally posted within the English Language forum but they told me to come here. Before you go over the questions,

@Welton431

Load Full 0 Comments

: Time management for part-time writing I'm currently writing a book, and would eventually hope to be a writer as a career. However, at the moment I'm struggling to find the time and the discipline

@Welton431

Load Full 5 Comments

: Should "plot" or storyline be the main determinant of what goes into a story? In writing a screenplay, I created a bunch of scenes, with about twice as much material in total as I needed.

: Re: How to improve/fix this short introductory paragraph and dialog? These are the things that I want for this introductory paragraph: Grab the reader's attention Create a melancholic and dark atmosphere

More posts by @Welton431

: Using "and/or" in a manuscript I've used "and/or" in my writings in the past, but not for fiction manuscripts. Is it acceptable to use this? It's internal narration in a character's head and

: Examples in APA format I truly hope I am posting in the right place; I had originally posted within the English Language forum but they told me to come here. Before you go over the questions,

: Time management for part-time writing I'm currently writing a book, and would eventually hope to be a writer as a career. However, at the moment I'm struggling to find the time and the discipline

: Should "plot" or storyline be the main determinant of what goes into a story? In writing a screenplay, I created a bunch of scenes, with about twice as much material in total as I needed.

Login to post a comment!

0 Comments

Back to top