: Re: Personal Page - review request I have created my personal about page, based on "The Personal Page" template. As a non-native English speaker I worry, that my attempt at telegraphic style

@Murray831

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This is nicely personal and humorous.

The key problem is the omission of articles (a, an, the), Articles can be tricky in English.

X Y is an aspiring software craftsman, designer, and father on paternal leave.

Also, if you really want to say "a father," then you'll also have to say "a designer" to keep the three items parallel. This is a somewhat subtle point, which even English speaking writers increasingly ignore. I can explain further if necessary.

At the moment he is conducting an experiment in financing his daughter's via the App Store. That's because he often wonders what the weather is like.

I don't understand the "weather" reference. Perhaps the actual link makes it clearer.

From time to time he parrots inconsequential things ...

"Parrots" means to repeat mindlessly what someone else has said. If you mean that you often retweet trivialities, then "parrot" is cute, though the metaphor may be a little off. (Do parrots tweet? I don't know.)

Recently discovered a passion ...

This and some of the other bits (e.g. "On the net since 1994") are sentence fragments. That's not a crime in informal language like this, but it does slightly grate against the style of the full sentences. It feels like jabs of staccato in the midst of a pastoral tone poem.

All in all, it's nicely done. The humor is subtle and delightful.

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