: How should a narrative parenthetical remark be placed in reference to a dialog quotation? I’m wondering how to place a narrative parenthetical remark in dialog. I’m proofreading a book with

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A "Raspberry Moon" needs to be explained prior to the quote--probably as dialogue, but possibly as part of a third- person omniscient information dump. It is absolutely wrong to put parentheses within the quote. In newspapers and such, parenthetical remarks from the editor are placed in brackets [ ].

Although it would be amateur to do so, one could follow the quote with: And Barney asked, "What's a Raspberry Moon?"

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If the narrator is making that comment, it should be outside the quote. Here are several iterative revisions:

He whispered, “I think she will have a child in Raspberry Moon." (This was around July in early summer).

He whispered, “I think she will have a child in Raspberry Moon." He said this around July in early summer.

Around July, in early summer, he whispered, “I think she will have a child in Raspberry Moon."

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