: Re: Which version of these three lines is more likely to attract the interest of the reader ? (character's viewpoint vs omnicient narrator) The first one is a suggestion I got from my previous

@Dunderdale623

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I'm interested to note that the users who expressed a preference went with the first version. I will add my vote for the first to the others.

A writing tutor once pointed out to me that the first person is easier for authors, it involves getting into a mental groove and just stream-of-consciousness monologuing in the viewpoint character's voice. However, the down side is that the character runs the risk of coming off as a whiner.

When someone says "I don't care about this" then you immediately evaluate that as someone separate from you making a statement about something. So you judge the statement and the person as if it were something outside of you that you are reacting to directly.

If you say "he wondered if he had become numb to this" then you, the narrator, are presenting an absolute fact for consideration. The reader avoids the psychological trap of instant reaction.

A character explaining why he doesn't care sounds like someone rationalising. In fact, a character explaining anything kind of is rationalising. A narrator explaining things the character may or may not be aware of is presenting a fact and it doesn't reflect poorly on the character unless it is meant to.

So, in summary, first person perspective necessarily introduces the risk of reflecting poorly on view point characters even if it's not meant to. Third person gives the narrator more control about how to present a character but is a tougher mental groove to get into.

For this reason when a novel is in first person I always feel a bit depressed and wonder if I'm going to end up with that grating feeling. Whereas in third person I always know I've got a better chance of not being irritated by the material. That's just because I'm a technician about these things, though. It's like asking a painter to comment on a painting style they've decided that they personally have difficulty with as a practitioner; they're unlikely to be able to get beyond that unless the execution is particularly masterful.

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