: How to make a statement formulated like an exclamation, but even-toned? In writing, particularly writing dialogue or speech-like prose, it is custom to use the punctuation to indicate the tone

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You are never required to use an exclamation point. Exclamation points are always optional. (You are never required to use an exclamation point! Exclamation points are always optional!) You are correct, however, that there are some sentences that exclamation points will make less ambiguous. If you don't feel right using an exclamation point in those situations, you may want to rethink use of that phrase, since you are using it as an exclamation, even if you don't punctuate it that way.

Personally I think a certain amount of conveying tone through punctuation is acceptable even in formal writing. However, it should be extremely sparing. In general, you never want your punctuation to call attention to itself, it should be almost invisible in the service of meaning.

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Stop trying to save characters typed. You can characterize the tone of the sentence with another entire sentence even longer than the uttered words.

Bill closed his eyes for a moment, his lips tightly compressed. "Boy, was I wrong."
Bill looked to Cindy, his eyes wide and lips parted in elation, transforming into a wide grin as he realized the full implications of what had just happened. "Boy, was I wrong."

Don't try to make punctuation do so much work for you. If you can describe or indicate what the character speaking is feeling, the reader will do the work of imparting the correct matching tone and volume to their spoken words.

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are there cases where it would be frowned
upon using something like that?

Not that I'm aware of. If you are talking directly to your reader, there is a big chance you are already using a colloquial tone. "Boy, was I wrong!" isn't much more informal than "Boy, was I wrong."; there is barely a difference.

Should I prefer using an exclamation point in every case, or try to
reformulate the statement?

It's up to you to decide the style. I wouldn't use them in a formal or scientific article, but otherwise they are fine. If you feel that exclamations are a good fit to get your point across, you probably should use them.

Personally I'd rather avoid them, but it's a matter of taste. There may be cases where you may want your reader to read the sentence with an higher tone, but on a more general basis I'd use italics to emphasize the test. So, "Boy, was I wrong." works for me more than "Boy, was I wrong!" and doesn't risk seeming too childish while staying colloquial.

But then again, this is just me.

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I think the answer is one of moderation and letting the reader know what you would
feel. Trust your instincts. At times you must use an exclamation point to share or show strong emotion. However, if you repeatedly use exclamatory phrases the work becomes tedious and pedestrian. Moderation and instinct should be your watchwords.

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