: Re: Does this convey that I recommend the anthology I'm reviewing? Here's a snipped-up version of a review of an anthology I wrote a while back (full original review here). Most of the stories

Your thoughts and reactions are the important things. Yet you camouflage them:

"Let's begin by saying that this is a strong, solid collection. Almost every story in the anthology is, at very least, an enjoyable read, and many of them do a lot more than that. Let me focus on the stories I found particularly fascinating."

May I suggest?

"Let's begin by saying that t
This is a strong, solid collection. Almost every story in the anthology is , at very least, an enjoyable read. and many of them do a lot Many are much more. than that. Let me focus on the stories I found particularly fascinating."

More than half your words are distracting ornament, imo, and weaken your message. The para reads like your first timid draft.

You're convinced about this anthology; please let me hear your conviction.

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: Can my paragraph use better adjectives and descriptions? I feel my punctuation is all over the place, and the adjectives are not as charming as I think they are. If anyone has watched the

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: Exposition: "As all members of the scientific community know," Dr. Bigpipe said clenching his big pipe between his teeth. "The F'zargh of Multath V has a unique means of camouflage.

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: Say you write a story about an employee of Best Buy who accidentally kills his girlfriend by pushing her off a cliff whilst the two of them are dancing about like idiots stoned out of their

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: What literary techniques are evident in this quote? What literary techniques are evident in the following quote? I read each bullet scar in the Quai stonework With an eerie familiar feeling,

: Re: Does this convey that I recommend the anthology I'm reviewing? Here's a snipped-up version of a review of an anthology I wrote a while back (full original review here). Most of the stories

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: Can my paragraph use better adjectives and descriptions? I feel my punctuation is all over the place, and the adjectives are not as charming as I think they are. If anyone has watched the

: Exposition: "As all members of the scientific community know," Dr. Bigpipe said clenching his big pipe between his teeth. "The F'zargh of Multath V has a unique means of camouflage.

: Say you write a story about an employee of Best Buy who accidentally kills his girlfriend by pushing her off a cliff whilst the two of them are dancing about like idiots stoned out of their

: What literary techniques are evident in this quote? What literary techniques are evident in the following quote? I read each bullet scar in the Quai stonework With an eerie familiar feeling,

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