: Re: The problem of the throwaway boyfriend In the first 10% of my novel, my MC has a boyfriend. MC is accepted into the Space Corps (or he's summoned to fight Troy - the particulars don't really

@Odierno164

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You can stop making it so obvious they are going to break up; and don't even make it obvious to the MC they already have broken up. The boyfriend can break, and move on to somebody else without telling the MC.

So the arc is:

BF: I miss you so much!
MC: Be strong, this is what we talked about.

Second round: Something bad happens to the BF:
BF: (tearful) This is too hard. You said you could quit, I want you to quit. Come home, and help me.
MC: You'll get over this, I can't quit.
BF: That's a lie! I read the enlistment forms, you still have two weeks to withdraw!
MC: Yes, but I'm not going to, not now. This is too important.
BF: And I'm not?
(tearful argument ensues, but MC is adamant)
MC: I love you, but I can't.
BF: I love you too.

Third round:
BF: Hi! Everything is fine, I'm in the middle of something, gotta run to a party!
MC: What party?
BF: Michelle's birthday, or did you forget that too? Nevermind. Gotta go!
MC: Oh yeah. Well, have a good time.

What the MC doesn't get is that BF is cheerful because he has already moved on, but isn't going to admit it. The MC can suspect this, and dread it, and deny it to himself, but you (the author) can take time to confirm it for the MC (leaving the reader hanging).

The truth is the MC gave up his BF in the second round, by refusing to withdraw from the program and come home. I think this ability to withdraw is important; if the program he is in does not allow withdrawal, then whatever happens between him and his BF was not really his choice. He did choose to join, of course, but his BF had agreed to wait.

But if he can quit and come home, and chooses not to despite his distraught lover begging him to quit and come home, then he has made a conscious choice of mission over boyfriend. When he confronts his conversation-avoiding BF, he gets an unapologetic confession and the MC is told he shouldn't call anymore. The MC can be reminded, by his BF, that he made the choice, when he refused to come home when the BF needed him most.

Otherwise you have a situation of something bad happening without any conscious choice. I mean, if I invite my friend to dinner somewhere, and she slips on the sidewalk and breaks her wrist, I feel terrible for her but I don't feel guilty for inviting her to dinner. I made no conscious choice in her trouble; I thought she'd be fine getting to the restaurant. I think your MC must make a conscious choice of job over boyfriend for this to be a sacrifice.

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