: Re: Increasing the flow in descriptions of a sequence of events Thomas appeared behind Daniel and shook him by the neck, which brought him down to his knees. Thomas kicked him and then kicked

Your Sentences all have a very similar structure, which makes them stagnant to read together.

Thomas appeared behind Daniel and shook him by the neck, which brought him down to his knees. Thomas kicked him and then kicked away the gun that Daniel dropped making sure he wouldn't be able to surprise him any longer. He smiled seeing Daniel helplessly squirming on the ground. He took out a cigar out of his pocket and lit it. He took a puff and then another while waiting for Daniel to talk knowing Daniel would plead for his life as soon as possible if given the chance.

You can see each sentence starts as:

Thomas appeared...Thomas kicked...He smiled...He took...He took

You can see that the structure is bland, writing a bit of variety can help the flow. I try in my own writing as well to identify when a following sentence continues a character's action, in these cases I look at if the sentences can be combined.

Thomas appeared behind Daniel and shook him by the neck, kicking him as Daniel tried to draw his gun and swiftly pulling him to his knees before sweeping the gun well out of reach.

No doubt the above suggestion could be improved further but I believe it does illustrate my idea combining similar sentences.

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: Re: Increasing the flow in descriptions of a sequence of events Thomas appeared behind Daniel and shook him by the neck, which brought him down to his knees. Thomas kicked him and then kicked

More posts by @Sherry594

: Replacing adverbs I understand the reasons so many people have dislike for adverbs in writing, but I'm struggling with how to find a real balance. For example, these adverbs can die: "He ran

: Is it better to use a tricolon or an enumeration with four objects? I am not 100% sure if this is the correct SE to ask this question and if it is not I hope someone could be so kind

: Best practice for academic writing: write and cite or write first? I'm an undergraduate student of psychology. My teachers assign writing assignments from time to time, and usually require some

: When translating slang heavy text is my slang translator a co-translator? Can one be a co-translator of a book, if he does not know the language that the book is translated into? made me realize

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