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Topic : Re: A torrent of foreign terms I am writing a short story, about a particular field with multiple specific terms, none of which are in English. (Specifically, I'm writing about bullfighting, but - selfpublishingguru.com

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A story like this is about what the MC experiences, and should be told in the MC's voice, but it's also important to consider your readers' experiences as they read, right? This seems like a case where you need to balance the reader's expected knowledge of the subject matter with the MC's. If I told someone a story about what I did at work (and didn't want to bore them to death), I'd try to minimize any industry-specific jargon and go for more general terms instead. I'd still be telling my story in my own voice, obviously, but with consideration for the audience.

So a muleta is a red piece of cloth attached to a stick. But even if the only acceptable name for that thing is "muleta," you've still got a red piece of cloth and a stick, and the reader's focus could be on one of those components. The MC can pull out the muleta, and you can describe what it is there, and from that point on your reader can see a flash of red cloth, or notice the way the MC deftly maneuvers the stick, or whatever. You can avoid calling it by its name again until the MC puts it away, reminding the reader of what it is again (he takes up the muleta, neatly wrapping the red cloth around the stick, maybe).

To your sword example, suppose a character has a sword to another character's neck. Writing something like "Alice held the falchion to Bob's neck" feels detached somehow; "Alice held the blade to Bob's neck" seems a little better. "Bob gasped as the cold steel pressed against his flesh" feels even more visceral. These second two options work well, even though we don't refer to the entire weapon, only the part that's doing something interesting.

Similarly, Bob could watch his own blood trickle down a groove running the length of the blade, and none of the meaning is lost. Calling it a fuller instead could break immersion. Everyone knows what a groove is, but not everyone knows what a fuller is (even if you told them what it was earlier, they may have to stop and think about it). The MC may think of it as a fuller, but it is certainly still a groove. Same goes for a red cloth or a stick.


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