: What is the proper way to use the pronoun "I" without too much repetition? I found a new job in London and while emailing with my soon-to-be boss, I noticed something that drove me off: the
I found a new job in London and while emailing with my soon-to-be boss, I noticed something that drove me off: the constant repetition of the pronoun I. This is very different from my native language (Italian) and most of the time, sounds and reads awful to me. So I started to check online for explanations, but all I could find was people saying that using it or omitting it is up to me. But I'm still not satisfied enough.
In Italian, for example, one would say:
Ho scritto del codice, sono andato a pranzo e poi ho fatto la doccia.
where there is not a single occurrence the first-person singular pronoun.
The English translation is straightforward (and omitting the pronoun is easy to undestand), being this just a sequence of operations:
I wrote some code, had lunch, then took a shower
The problem starts when I'm trying to be formal or technical (I'm a computer programmer): I'm not sure if I'm using the pronoun too much or not. This whole question is a nice example: I could have written this in italian without using the pronoun once.
The following bit is from an email I sent to London:
I should be able to tell you (I hope) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of office) and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can.
I had to use the pronoun I four times in a single sentence. Is this happening because my knowledge of the language is limited, or just because I'm not yet completely used to it in my daily life?
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I should be able to tell you (I hope) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of office) and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can.
vs
You can expect a response from me by Monday.
2nd is good if Monday is a reasonable date. Try not to make excuses in your writing as it weakens your voice. If Monday is not a reasonable date, don't promise Monday, tell them when you can promise them something.
Rephrasing the sentence so that it is direct and in terms of the recipient is not only possible, but good use of language for reasons beyond grammar. If you want to deliver a message others want to hear, phrasing that message this way is important. People like to hear about themselves, so suspicion of the word I is correct in formal communications, but for reasons that are not grammatical.
I think part of the problem you're having here is that many of the Romance languages can include the first singular pronoun I as part of the verb. E.g in Spanish Yo como pan, (I eat bread) can also be written as simply como pan (I eat bread) without the use of Yo.
English doesn't work like that and you cannot include the pronoun I as part of a verb, you have to say it each time you want to use the first person singular pronoun I. I eat bread, I ran home, I drove to work, I had lunch etc.
In your example you could have removed one of them, (hopefully would mean the same as I hope) but that's up to you:
I should be able to tell you (hopefully) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of the office) and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can.
I wouldn't concern yourself with the number of times you're using the first person singular pronoun as English has no way of incorporating it into verbs as you're used to. Which is probably why it feels strange to you.
I don't know anything about Italian, but many languages have the pronoun "built in" to the verb. There are different forms of the verb for when it is first person than for when it is second person than for when it is third person. In such cases, the pronoun is only needed in special cases or for emphasis. But in English the pronoun is not built into the verb in most cases, so you must explicitly include it.
As Jon Hanna says, English pronouns are short and people don't tend to perceive them as overused even when repeated many times in a sentence. Not to say that you shouldn't eliminate repeated pronouns when possible.
To some extent, previous answers are correct in saying that pronouns can, should, or must be used frequently. The idea that they can't be avoided is wrong. One can reword the present example as below. [I excluded the phrase “(both bosses are still out of office)†as not relevant to the example.]
I should be able to tell you (I hope) on Friday or Monday, and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can →
I may be able to tell you on Friday or Monday; I'm pushing this along as fast as can be.
Rewording “I should X (I hope)†as “I may X†seems reasonable; rewording “as fast as I can†as “as fast as can be†, less so. Because the phrase “I'm pushing this along as fast as I can†may be slightly too informal or slangy for a business email, and because the information it supplies should be a given, you could just drop it, leaving
I may be able to tell you on Friday or Monday.
You can include the “both bosses are still out of the office†information without parentheses:
I may be able to tell you on Friday or Monday; some bosses are away at present.
Edit 1: To clarify “The idea that they can't be avoided is wrongâ€:
The burden of several other answers and comments was that pronouns cannot be avoided, but they are short and thus it doesn't matter. The point of “The idea that they can't be avoided is wrong†is not that all pronouns can be avoided – fairly obviously, some can't – but rather that many can be avoided, by tightening up the writing.
For example, the condensed form “I'll let you know Friday or Monday†has one pronoun, and is short, direct, positive, effective.
By contrast, “I should be able to tell you (I hope) on Friday or Monday, and I'm trying to push this as fast as I canâ€, with its three personal pronouns, is lengthy and full of quibbles.
For example, should expresses uncertainty, as do I hope and Friday or Monday.
The phrase “should be able to tell†also is equivocal: it does not say will tell (which the writer should say), nor does it say will tell if possible (which the writer probably meant).
The phrase “I'm trying to push this as fast as I can†equivocates via trying to and as fast as I can. One might consider “I'm pushing this as fast as possible†instead, but I think it better to just cut the phrase entirely, taking it as a given. Or say “This is my top priority.â€
Pronouns can be heavily used more readily than other words, because the smaller and more common a word is, the less it "stands out". Readers of English are used to I repeating a lot in first-person writing, because it's appropriate to such expression - the weak inflection means the information other languages would express in the form of the verb requires a noun or pronoun in English. So it isn't a problem.
Compare your original (with one fix):
I should be able to tell you (I hope) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of the office) and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can.
With:
The sentinel should be able to tell you (the sentinel hopes) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of the office) and the sentinel is trying to push this as fast as the sentinel can.
Now, that's still perfectly grammatical, but it is pretty strange. The reason is that the long and relatively rare word sentinel is more striking so its repetition is jarring. Unless we wanted this jarring for effect, we would avoid it.
The main way that we would avoid it, is to use pronouns:
The sentinel should be able to tell you (he hopes) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of the office) and he is trying to push this as fast as he can.
He, like I bears much more repetition.
(Incidentally said and asked bear vast repetition easily. Trying to avoid them by substituting other words on the other hand, leads to tiring "said bookism").
If I was to pick any point of style for criticism in the sentence, it would be that parentheses are worth avoiding.
I hope to be able to tell you on Friday or Monday. Both bosses are still out of the office, and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can.
To keep things a matter of a series of thoughts, rather than detours into parenthetical thoughts from which the reader has to return. That said, I probably only noticed at all, because my own writing tends to overuse parentheses a lot, so I'm used to looking for where they can be removed because my own first-drafts tend to need it more than other people's.
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